Dance Moms matriarch, Abby Lee Miller, is heading to prison on Wednesday for 366 days. But, just because she'll be behind bars it doesn't mean she's keeping quiet about it. Ever since she was charged with hiding almost a million dollars, she has said some of the most ridiculous things about the whole ordeal.
And, is anyone surprised? Abby Lee has said some of the most ridiculous things even when she wasn't heading to jail. She was notoriously known for blasting her dancers, their mums and anything else she could target. We've decided to pick out some of our fave Abby Lee quotes that she's spewed out in regards to her now being classified as a certified criminal.
They are literally hilarious with one legitimate fear that we all might have before going to prison. But otherwise, it's comical. She's a real character and we will miss her word vomit for a year and a day.
Abby Lee just wants to laugh before jail time, you guys.
"I have some friends coming out from Pittsburgh that have been with me through thick and thin for 20 years before the TV show, so they’re gonna come out and we’re just gonna maybe reminisce and laugh about the old times and talk about everyone we know and who might have all that money. Because it’s not me!"
Jail time means Abby Lee is focusing on one thing, and one thing only – herself. DUH.
"I’ll just have me to concentrate on and that’s different."
Abby Lee is really worried about standing on cement for a long time because, you know, that's a requirement in jail. Cement standing.
"I have bad knees and a bad back and a lot of stuff. I'm worried about standing on cement for hours at a time, but we'll see!"
Abby Lee has legit fears too, like being physically hurt.
"I’m afraid of being physically abused. I have to stay busy. If I thought about it every day, I’d just sit around and cry."
Abby Lee knows she has to stay out of drama in prison but that's like, really hard for her.
"People have said 'Okay, keep your mouth shut, stay to yourself. If there's an argument, if something's going on, just look the other way, walk away.’ That's not me!"
Abby Lee doesn't understand why she's going to jail if she's just a nice Catholic girl from Pittsburgh. Yes, WHY.
"I'm just a nice Catholic girl from Pittsburgh… I know that I am not a criminal mastermind."
Abby Lee's last meal will be the biscuits from Red Lobster because why the hell not?!
"If I say Red Lobster coming out of Catch, would that be bad? I think the biscuits, the cheddar biscuits."
Abby Lee is claiming she will be able to find herself in jail, or shower with a clean towel 'cos apparently, she couldn't even do THAT in the free world!
"I’ve always put everybody else’s child first before my own health, before my own outfit, before my own time frame. Everybody else was dressed and out the door and looking perfect and I was running around trying to find a clean towel to take a shower with, so I think this will be a little 'me' time."
Abby Lee's reaction after finding out she was headed to prison has literally been said by no one after finding out they are headed to prison. No One.
"I feel relieved. I feel peaceful."
So basically, these kids are the reason Abby Lee is going to prison? Logical thoughts.
"I was so worried about the dancing and worried about these kids that aren't my own kids and making them winners that I didn't worry about my own win in business."
Abby Lee thinks she's going to get so much work done in jail because what else is there to do?
"Maybe I'm fooling myself and I won't be able to do any work."
But Abby Lee loves kids and she really wants you to know that.
"I don’t have a problem working with any kid, I love children and have dedicated my life to making other people’s children successful!"
In the end, Abby Lee thinks this whole experience is surreal AF.
"It is surreal. How does a nice Catholic girl end up going to prison for a year? It's crazy."