DOLLY blogger Alli Simpson shares her best tips for being your most confident self...
Improving your confidence gives you the freedom to just be YOU; that most authentic you. The YOU that the world deserves to see.
WORK ON YOUR STRENGTHS, LET GO OF WEAKNESSES
It is a good idea to look at what you like and what you don't like; your interests and dislikes. As you learn who you are, you gain confidence in your strengths and can focus on them and nurture them.
Focussing on your strengths boosts your self-esteem and feeling of self-worth. And don't be fooled; we all have some strengths or something that we are good at. Also learn not to be afraid of your weaknesses; again we all have them, no one is perfect. Recognize your weaknesses, accept them, and then let them go.
YOU ARE WHAT YOU WEAR…
Dress to impress. To dress confidently you have do dress comfortably. Dress in what makes you feel the most “YOU”. Don’t follow trends, wear what you feel good in. If you’re comfortable and happy, you’ll impress every time.
Be the trendsetter, not the trend follower. Again be honest with yourself; sometimes fashion items or certain trends just don't look good on me. I have to accept it and move onto what works for me. Comfortable equals confident.
IT’S IN THE WALK…
An important thing to portray the most confident YOU is your posture. Whether standing or walking, how you carry yourself is a good indicator of how you feel about yourself. Put your shoulders back, stand up tall, use welcoming mannerisms and have a confident smile on your face. Nothing speaks confidence more than that.
Like anything else in life, your confidence will improve with practise. Even if you have to "fake it till you make it"! You can actually train your brain to feel more confident. A great opportunity to do this is when you meet new people. If you were the new kid in school, they would have no idea who you are, so you have an opportunity to show them.
As you shake someone's hand, introduce yourself, and pay attention when he or she speaks. Watch your internal monologue; if you start doubting yourself, replace your thoughts with more confident ones. Ask yourself what a confident person would do and then try to emulate it.
Don't hide your excellence from the world. Believe in the perfectness of who YOU are and have the confidence to rock it. You have nothing to lose and may just surprise yourself how awesome you are!
I’m going to be honest with you, peeps… when I rocked up to Sydney’s State Theatre for the opening night of Red Bull Flying Bach last night, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I mean, the performance was all about breakdancing... to classical music. Uh-huh, classical music. Sounds like a bizarre combo, right? Well, it was bizarre – but in the most awesome of ways.
When the lights dimmed, Bach’s music began to play and the main act shuffled their way on to the stage. Yep, four-time world champion breakdance crew Flying Steps meant business, and they busted out right from the get-go. I couldn’t believe how they made crazy flips in the air, nailing headspins as well as some killer flares look ridiculously easy – especially when it’s not! But aside from the insanely cool breakdancing moves, and a little bit of ballet thrown into the mix, Flying Steps executed their routines both effortlessly and elegantly – you read right, breakdancing is now just as amazing as it is graceful when it’s backed by world-famous piano compositions.
And the coolest thing about the whole experience (a part from discovering my urge to learn how to elbow hop like a boss) was that when I woke up this morning, I could still hear the smooth notes of Bach’s pieces, accompanied by the faint squeaking of sneakers on the State Theatre’s stage. You guys have gotta check this show out; it’s beyond cool and not to mention… the boys are totally cute!
Red Bull Flying Bach 2014 Australian tour dates are as follows:
• State Theatre, Sydney: 3 shows, 10-12 September
• Crown Theatre, Perth: 2 shows, 19-20 September
• QPAC, Brisbane: 2 shows, 25-26 September
• Arts Centre, Melbourne: 3 shows, 2-4 October
• Festival Theatre, Adelaide: 1 show, 7 October
This month, DOLLY blogger Alli Simpson shares her top tips for sending a flirty text.
Girls! Ever been stuck on what to text a guy to show him you’re interested?
I came up with a couple flirty text ideas to help you start the conversation with your ultimate crush...
1. "Morning sleepyhead… Hope you have a great day! x" or "Good Morning" – The fact that you’re texting him first thing lets him know he’s on your mind when you wake up. You also plant the seed to be on his mind that day too!
2. "Sweet dreams" or "Goodnight, Sweet dreams" – In the same way that a "Good morning" text shows him you're thinking of him first thing, this shows he's the last thing you think of at night. Amazing how these simple words can be filled with flirty subtext! Sometimes keeping it simple is best.
3. If it’s his birthday... "Hey, birthday boy! Made your wish yet?" - Stand out from all the other “happy birthday” texts by sending this flirty message instead! It will make him think, which is always a plus!
4. If you’re out somewhere, doing something fun... "Hey you, [explain what you are doing] and finish with "wish you were here!" - This gives him the idea that you are thinking about him, wishing he was by your side – even when you’re doing something fun.
5. A cute way to initiate hang-time... "Can’t study anymore. Save me?" or "This homework is a drag. Save me?" - There’s no sweeter reward after studying all day than seeing the guy you’re into. Your crush will love knowing he’s who you think of when you want to do something fun!
6. If you’re going to a party or a gathering that he will be at also, or even just at school... "Come find me tonight" or "Come find me today, hehe" - This text lets your crush know that you want to see him. It also makes it sound like a fun game, guys dig that.
7. Who says girls can’t ask guys out... "None of my friends want to see (insert movie here) with me tonight, would you be down?" - Text this to your crush right before the weekend. Hello, date night! Simple as that.
8. If you’re feeling very flirty, or a little cheeky... "Serious issue: Can’t stop thinking about you." - If this doesn’t make him smile, then I don’t know what would! A little flattery goes a long way when it comes to flirty texting!
9. "Bored at home... Up for a Sunday Funday?" – Show your crush your spontaneous side with this fun text! He’d love to see he’s who you go to for a fun day!
10. "Hey you" – These two basic words are pretty telling and will make him think of a good response. I prefer it without the winky face, but if you’re feeling extra flirty, why not throw it in?
If you use any of these, Tweet me and let me know how it goes! ;)
Good luck, girls...
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It’s been a pretty crazy month in world crises this month and I’ve gotta say, it has really got me down. We’re seeing war, genocide, anti-Semitism and even planes being shot from the sky! I keep having moments of feeling like the whole world is crumbling around us and I actually feel a genuine fear for the future generation.
I guess that is what has prompted me to write this blog. I must say, I’ve gone through a whirlwind of emotions trying to figure out why all of these things are happening. One minute I’m humanitarian Nikki, wanting to form mixed race groups to promote peace and spread the message that our generation will not put up with this craziness! There’s also been angry Nikki, who can’t help but point fingers and try to place blame and quite outwardly hate certain groups. Then there was helpless Nikki, who threw her hands up in the air one day and said “I don’t care about that country or this country I just care about me and my family. I don’t have the energy to invest emotionally in these things, and who am I to think I could make a difference?!” I think I’ve shown my boyfriend every possible side of me now, which I can’t help but feel bad about, and it is with that thought that I realised the following:
Every decision you make, every opinion you generate, every argument you try to win and every side you choose to take; it has a rippling effect. It affects your friends, your family, and your workmates. It also puts you in a position to be attacked from the other side. It drags people into arguments that may not be theirs to fight. In fact, they may not even be yours to fight. But every opinion we have is circumstantial, meaning, it could have quite easily gone the other way. Let me explain…
You may hear your mum and dad at home saying they don’t like certain people, maybe a certain race or religion, because they have done x, y and z. You might then take that opinion to school and spread that opinion to your friends who will believe every word you’re saying. Then they may take that back to their siblings or parents and fuel the flame even more.
The point is, the opinion that your parents had doesn’t necessarily mean it’s an opinion you need to have. They have formed their opinions based on their upbringings and their circles of friends, and as you can see, that is all circumstantial. It isn’t based on fact, or law or anything really credible. It’s just an opinion. And while we should ALWAYS respect our parents, we don’t necessarily need to agree with everything they’re saying.
I wanted to talk about this because I think it is so important, as the youth of this country starts to grow older and form their own thoughts and ideas, we need to break the cycle of circumstantial ideals. What we all need to focus on is acceptance of individuality, race, religion and culture. We are so blessed to live in a country where people from all over the world have found a home, and to maintain that level of multiculturalism we need to realise that we all bleed the same blood. I can be me, and you can be you. We don’t need to press our values on to one another.
We don’t need to force our religion down each other’s throat. We don’t need to hate that person just because someone else thinks we should. We can learn about one another without feeling like we have to follow in each other’s footsteps. We are all perfect just the way we are and if we could break this cycle of Chinese Whispers talking about how the other guy is the bad guy, then maybe we can be excited for the future of not just our beautiful country, but the entire world. So this week I encourage you all!
Go speak to someone at school that you’ve never spoken to before. Make friends with someone that you wouldn’t normally hang out with. Help someone in need and reach out a hand to a group of people you’ve never acknowledged before. Hey, if you want to be really brave, try to make peace with someone you’ve been out of touch with for a while. Find a social media platform and tell your “enemy” that you hope one day we can all live in peace. Because the only thing that’s worse than evil is when peaceful people don’t speak out against evil.
I guess what I’ve had to remind myself in the last few weeks is that there are definitely more good people in the world then there are bad. So if we could all just unite in our goodness, no matter what colour our skin is, then maybe we’ll make a loud enough noise that the bad guys can’t even be heard anymore.
This month, DOLLY blogger Alli Simpson shares her tips for recovering after a split.
Breakups can be rough; and no matter what, no one really wants to go through them. It sucks! But this is life – you get dumped, or you cut him loose... sometimes it doesn’t matter. It’s hard either way!
Sadness, heartache and anger are all part of the deal and unfortunately, that’s not likely to change. This is reality, and every girl will one day go through exactly the same thing. The loss of your relationship can bring on intense emotional feelings and drama. It REALLY sucks, I know!
So, if you’re looking for some help to get through it and want some suggestions about how to make it a little easier, read on...
1. Put your phone down and don’t backtrack. Ask yourself: Is it really worth going back?
2. Don’t take him back because you're lonely. If the breakup was your idea, you obviously did it for a reason. Obsessing over "the good times" you may have had with him (especially if you listen to "your song" while doing this) may cause you to forget the reasons why you ended it. Remind yourself of why you made the decision in the first place, and realise you deserve better.
3. Talk to your friends. You want to make sure you surround yourself with supportive and loving friends that will make you feel good. Talking it out will always help. Talk it all out with your best friend, get her over for a sleepover, do girly things, have fun and take your mind off him for a while.
4. Write all your feelings down. If you feel like you want to be alone and not talk to anyone, as I would after a break up, write down all your feelings in a journal or a book. The most important thing is to be absolutely honest and don’t edit yourself or change your mind as you go.
One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring it all out onto paper. A smart thing to remember if you keep a journal is be sure you keep it in a place where curious brothers, sisters, cousins, parents, etc. won’t be likely to stumble across it.
5. Keep your space. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, spend time completely away from each other right after the breakup. This means not seeing each other, not being around his/her family members, no phone calls, no text messages, no Facebook, none of that. Give yourself some time to get over the heartbreak.
6. Cry it out. Crying is NOT weak. Sometimes we need to let out our emotions and in such a difficult situation, the easiest way is to cry. If you feel the need to cry, CRY! Don’t try hold it in, it is ok to bawl your eyes out.
7. My last piece of advice... FIND SOMEONE NEW, GIRL! It will definitely take some time but there are thousands and thousands of cute guys out there. Find someone who treats you right, and loves you for who you are.
Just keep in mind that now you are single! Live and fight through the tough experiences when they take place. But for now, live life, and take chances as they come.
But the main thing to remember is that it happened for a reason. You may not know what the reason is right away, but there is a reason why you are going through this. Just keep your head up high, and know that you deserve better.
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This month, DOLLY blogger Alli Simpson shares her tips on finding the happy in every day.
If you were to ask any of the other DOLLY staffers what I talk about most in the office, I’m 100% sure they would say this:
1. My dog, Sizzle – she’s the worlds cutest sausage dog.
2. Netball – because I play twice a week so they hear about it, twice a week.
3. Chocolate – because, yum.
The other thing I talk about a bit too much (sorry desk buddies, Gyan and Alissa!) is travel. I’m an A Grade travel junkie and sitting opposite Features Writer, Dani, is dangerous business. Between the two of us, we’re constantly brainstorming what country we’re going to visit next.
My addiction started with my parents – they’re both geography teachers so every school holidays, we’d travel someplace in Australia. Since then, I’ve made it my mission to travel to ALL OF THE PLACES. While I haven’t been toallof them just yet, I’m slowly ticking things off my bucket list. Here are some of my favourite places in the whole entire universe. Well, at least for the moment, on Earth.
While I was studying at uni, I went on exchange to Italy for seven months and lived in the medieval town of Bologna. Bologna is filled with cobblestone streets, underground canals and piazzas. One of my favourite memories is of sitting in the main piazza with fresh cheese and bread, playing card games with my fellow exchange friends. There were people from Belgium, France, Germany (to name a few!) and of course, good old Australia.
Phnom Pehn, Cambodia
After studying Cambodia’s history in Year 12, I decided to go and visit the South-East Asian country. Not only are the people beyond lovely and the food, amazing, the temples of Angkor Wat are breathtaking. I spent three days just walking around them and would have spent another ten if I had the time.
At the beginning of my big Euro trip, five of my besties and I travelled around Scotland. If I could pin-point a moment where I was just beaming with happiness, it would be New Year’s Eve, 2009. We walked up to Edinburgh Castle and as soon as we reached the top, it started snowing. I felt just like Hermione in Harry Potter – probably because my hair was super frizzy from the snow, but also, because it was just so magical!
My bestie, Emma and I have done most of our travelling together but one of the highlights for both of us is trekking through the Hill Tribes in Thailand. It was super-hot but we walked through the jungle for three days and stayed with families along the way. The first family had no electricity so as soon as the sun dropped, we just played cards with our head torches on.
White Desert, Egypt
One of my favourite things to do is to camp, so camping out in the White Desert in Egypt was THE BEST. I’ve actually never been colder in my whole entire life, and sure, there were foxes everywhere BUT it was super fun. Watching the sunset over the horizon was beautiful.
Machu Pichu, Peru
I’ve always wanted to walk the Inca Trail so I’m sure you can imagine my excitement when I finally got to do it. On the fourth day, when we finally arrived at Machu Pichu, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, despite it raining for two days of the hike. We explored the area all day but I’m not going to lie – I spent a good amount of time chasing the llamas to try and get a photo with them!
The Lion King is my all-time favourite Disney movie so heading to Africa, I just wanted to see Simba! While I did see loads of Simba’s, the highlight of this trip was spending time with the gorillas in the jungle. One of the gorillas actually came over and touched my friend on her shoulder! Super cool!
She’s a life coach, mentor, blogger, empowerer of transformation and, most importantly, my best friend and soul mate. Our history is short: we knew each other in high school but didn’t really hang out till we finished Year 12. We instantly became besties. We endured amazing adventures together, made each other cry from laughter and experienced the highs and lows of becoming who we are today.
I think in life you’re extremely lucky to find a person who you can be 100% yourself with, and with whom you feel free to say or feel anything. And if you’re even luckier, find multiples (which I’m proud to say I have). Through my bestie Tania, I have learnt to love myself for who I am and radiate within the world. Scary at times but I know having her support at all times comforts me and gives me confidence.
Tania inspires me each day with positive affirmations of self-love and healing. It’s amazing to see someone putting herself completely out there and offering love and freedom to others. Her work of being a life coach is a complete inspiration to me because she’s such a beautiful soul and I know that her wisdom and life lessons are projected onto others and that makes me really happy.
We have both come a long way, and I can say that I’m looking forward to tackling the rest. But knowing I have that grounded support, I can say positively ‘bring it on’. So I guess the moral to this piece of writing is … if you’re lucky enough to find an amazing bestie, hold onto them forever because these friends are hard to find!