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Every *SPOILER* you need to know about Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

This news about Hermione will make you 'YASSS' for days.

By Bianca Mastroianni

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child doesn't officially open in until July 30, BUT the very first preview show went down on Tuesday at London's Palace Theatre.

All 1500 audience members even got a pin urging them to #KeepTheSecrets, a hashtag they later used to give out tiny details about the play. So here's everything you #need to know...

Obliviously ~~SPOILERS~~ lie ahead so enter at your own risk.

HERMIONE GRANGER

Holy FREAKING moly just when you thought Hermione couldn't get any more amazing, this happens...

Of course Hermione goes on to be the Minister for Magic, this girl was destined for great things.

Okay so... before we go ahead and reveal any more information we have a ~disclaimer~ that this all comes from a dodgy-looking Twitter post that "reveals" the entire plot from Part 1. You can read it here and come to your own conclusion, but if what they're saying is legit then this is what we can expect from the other main characters...

ALBUS SEVERUS

Harry and Ginny's youngest son, Albus Severus is who we're penning as the "cursed child" because he struggles #hard. Albus is sorted into Slytherin, which we all kind of guessed would happen as the last Harry Potter hinted at it. Apparently Albus befriends Draco's son Scorp and they become BFFS.

Talk about an unexpected alliance.

VOLDEMORT HAD A KID APPAZ

Errrmmm so apparently there's a weird rumour that Draco was infertile and couldn't have kids with Astoria, so she goes back in time and conceives Scorp with... wait for it... VOLDEMORT so he would be an heir of Slytherin or something.

K?

CEDRIC

There's something weird going down with Albus and Harry, as he's having a hard time being the legendary son of ~Harry Potter~ and a Slytherin. Cedric's dad Amos Diggory finally comes to Harry to talk about Cedric and Albus overhears, blaming his dad for his death and getting this wild idea he can save the day.

He and Scorp use Polyjuice potion to pose as Ron and Harry to retrieve the Time Turner and go back in time. You can only imagine the disaster lying ahead.

THE OUTCOME

Like Hermione said in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban you can destroy everything if you go back in time and meddle with things. So of course, the kids go back and try save Cedric but apparently all that leads to is Ron marrying Padma, Hermione being a bitter old professor, Harry dying and Umbridge becoming the Mistress of Hogwarts making the kids celebrate 'Voldemort Day'.

Killin' it kids.

Like we said, this all comes from a kind of dodgy-looking Twitter post so it could 3000% be all untrue.

And that's that.